Monday, September 30, 2013

Melancholia

Tonight me and my good friend went to see a maze, called Autisticmaze. After you get into it, you're supposed to understand better the mind of autistic children. You're supposed to feel what they feel and see what they see.
In a way, I applaud the committee who made the maze to increase the awareness on autism. I think autistic people get misunderstood a lot, so it's very good that they tried to change that.
But in a way, it still felt very superficial to me. I can't get in there. I'm not there, inside their mind. I don't even know if it's possible to do such thing. They just put quotes on how they feel and see things, as well as some interactive things like fruit autistic kids can't smell, or even headphone to hear what the autistic kids hear from certain source of sound. Still didn't do it for me.
But what my friend said kinda rang a bell inside my head: you're hard to understand too. Maybe you'll have a maze like that as well to make people understand you better.
Call me pessimistic, but I don't know if you can ever really understand anybody around you. You think you know, but uou don't know for sure. People do surprising stuff. Let alone me.
Why are you so silent all the time? Why do you suddenly get silent and act like you're hurt? Why do you believe in such thing?
I can never explain it. I could try, but deep in my heart, I know some things are incredibly private that you can't even share it to other people, not can you make them fell better. Some others are hard to be communicated to.
Like, If I said I heard something in your tone, or your pupil that hurts and scares me, would you understand?
No? That's what I gotta love.

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